Death; as lonely an endeavour as life.

Grief; as ferocious and crippling, as time.

None will bear that burden for you.

Fewer, will bear that burden with you.

Death; the sincerest cause for life.

Grief; more everlasting and beautiful, than love.

Once a dozen questions strong, now only one remains.

One I am much too weak to ask.

Two decades will soon pass. My, how it all flew by.

Thinking back now, I am uncertain where my thoughts ought take me. 

They rejoice you with hollow laughter, as insincere as the gifts they brought you.

Loss, is such a curious thing, with so little answers on how best to accept it. 

They burn incense, and paper, for your ascended journey. 

Smile, as if behind it does not lie a guilty conscience. 

They even talk about selling the house. 

The one where I made all the memories I have of you. 

Life moves on, they say, but is this true for the dead ones too?

Days like today, I rehearse what I would like to ask you. 

Like if you saw the man I was becoming, would you scold the boy I am?

Or if you saw the pain inked upon me, would you scrub me, or embrace me?

If you saw how I was living, all to how I would die.

Would you love me? Hate me? 

Thoughts that do not matter, but still I think them through. 

If I saw it all, till the end, would I get my chance to ask you?

Would you be there?

Would you let me?

On this day, I am but a boy, kneeling before his grandfather’s ashes.

Pondering, a day most different. 

On this day, I am but a boy, sifting through memories of my grandfather. 

Wondering, why I never got to know him.

On this day, I am a boy who misses my grandfather.

Realizing, I don’t know what I missed.

Maybe, that’s what I miss.

The chance I missed, to create something worth missing.

I miss you, grandpa. 

I’ll come by again soon.