(E): You cannot live out there, alone. 

No one survives, alone. 

It is in our nature, to require reliance as we require nurturance, to grow. 

How certain can you be, that you know the way on your own? 

(L): I don’t know.. 

The only thing I do know, is that I may never learn to abide by their rules. Regardless of how much I rend myself to do just that.

Their leaders, cannot comprehend me. 

Their followers, will not defend me. 

Their systems, will not include me. 

Their minds, dare not welcome me. 

I have no place, but the one no one would take.

Outside, gazing in. 

(E): You just have not tried hard enough. 

(L): I do not recall seeing even one among them, who has to try. 

(E): You have not allowed enough.

You have not done enough.

You have not been enough. 

(L): Oh that much I am well aware of. 

(E): You misunderstand me. 

(L): Perhaps, but I hear you. 

You believe that I am this way because I cling to it, willingly. 

But is this not the same fault, that resides in them too? 

Is this not the same flaw, they share in their thinking? 

If i must abide by their standards, which would require me to be hostile to change, does that not suggest they are too far behind? 

Should that mean I now cease my progress, just to go back? 

(E): Is there no way to learn what was, before creating what could be? 

(L): When you cycle backwards on a bicycle, do you not rob it of its intended function? 

(E): You claim they cling to their ways out of fear. But what of you? Do you not cling to yours? 

(L): All I have ever been, is slave to my fear.

But at least I am still willing, to entertain letting it go. 

(E): But just because they think differently, should not mean they are not without worth. 

It should not mean they are not without merit. 

It should not mean they are not without strengths. 

(L): And yet, in this conversation, I am not the one who brings up their worth. 

I am not the one who dulls that they may be of merit. 

I am not the one who deems in them only weaknesses. 

Nor the one who asserts they cannot teach me things too. 

I have asked; they just would not give. 

(E): Yet you speak with the arrogance of one who believes himself far beyond the rest? 

You speak as if they cannot show you new things too. 

(L): Nay, I speak with the humility of one who would give it all, to hear from their lips. 

I speak with the reality, of one who has been outcast, simply for believing in change. 

Simply for believing in growth. 

In progress. 

(E): Creatures of habit do not like change. 

(L): It explains why they do not like me. 

(E): So this is to be it? 

You will wear the mask of the villain, simply because they would not deem you a hero? 

(L): I would wear the mask of their enemy, simply because they have no interest in deeming me an ally. 

(E): If you walk out now, how sure are you that you wont die out there, alone and far from the dreams you fought to have? 

(L): Better the company of what will always be constant, than the uncertainty of not knowing when I will be cast out again. 

Better the vast unknown, that comes with being different, than the repetitive cruelty, that comes with being hated for that very difference. 

(E): If you do this, they will hate you forever. 

If you put on this facade, it may be the one they see and remember, for all eternity. 

If you turn away, as you have done before, there is no guarantee that this time – will not be the last time you get to stand on this side again. 

(L): Good. I do not have eternity, to spend, waiting to be loved as I am. 

I do not have time to worry, if this mistake, once past, will ever be amended again. 

You say they will hate me forever? 

Well then, I suppose it is a good thing, that I will not live, forever. 

I will live only as long as I do. 

And that time, is much too fleeting to be spent seeking refuge in a home, that would have me leave my identity at the door, before I may enter. 

(E): To be without a home is to be without shelter when the storm roars. 

(L): I am aware.  

(E): It will be lonely. 

(L): I am counting on it. 

(E): They will see your defiance as an act of emotion; they will not understand, and for that their disgust will only deepen. 

(L): Let them scorn me. Despise me. 

Their salvation I will derive, from the very hatred they show me, and it will be delivered upon them, willing or unwilling. 

And once all is said and done; once life is proper as I sculpt it to have become, at least I will bear none of the regret. 

For I will have had front tickets to it all, even if I must sit alone and watch it all fall into place. 

At least I won’t have to regret, having missed out on it. 

(E): Missed out on what? 

(L): The anomaly that brought it all down 

The phenomenon that was: me.

(E): What if the price is greater than you imagine? What if it costs something you can never get back. 

(L): Then at least this time, I will have had a say in it. 

This time, I have a choice. 

At least this time, the price will be paid knowingly.